No, my eyes do not have their own personal fans. You dug your nasty little nails into my face.
I hate you for ever letting me think that this was fat:
And here you had me contemplating a girdle in 100 degree weather:
You are pure evil for all of my youth you squandered. However, without you I would not have the love of my life and the beautiful children we made together. I will forgive those little angels for the havoc they brought onto my body but you, 35, will not be forgiven. You had better wisen up and get it together because the next 35 are going to be rough for you. I will gouge out your eyes and beat you into submission. You crept up on me while I was weak. You won't get away with it again. Prepare to have your ass handed to you, high and tight.
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7 comments:
hey danielle! let me say you that your blog is so funny! go to see my blog!
sorry, my english is not the best (i'm spanish) and if you see my blog maybe you won't understand anything because it's wrote in spanish (in 'vulgar spanish'). Try it! And put a comment if you want!
I can translate you te blog! ^^ Bye girl!
OMG Danielle. I laughed and am still laughing over this newest update. You crack me up! :) I re-read the Palm Springs update and had missed the "hookers" part the first time. Hysterical.
ROFL! Holy Shit, "personal fans" Can't. Stop. Laughing.
And just for the record you're just as hot now as you were in those chunky 1993 heels.
Ahem, that was 1996, 97 at the latest! And that one above it, for the record is not at a truck stop. It's at the airport in Vegas. Note the hot lady behind me posing.
Oh, smoking in an airport. Those were the days.
LOL!!!! I'm dying - you're freakin' hysterical. Thanks for making me laugh, but FYI, you're one hot MILF. 35 be damned.
O.....M.........G..... sis-tor, you are the effing bomb! xoxo
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